How Soon Is Too Soon for Sex?

"When it feels awkward talking about it"

“When it feels awkward talking about it”


Dating is largely a guessing game, which makes it pretty tough for some dudes to get it all right. One of the biggest guesses related to dating is the big issue of sex: does she want it? When does she want it? How does she want it? Unsurprisingly, because of these questions, sex is often the torpedo that can sink your dating aspirations, leaving you confused and sexually frustrated. While there’s no exact answer for the question as to how soon is too soon, there are indicator signs that should be able to steer you in the right direction.

Maturity Makes a Difference

If you’re both in your early twenties, you’re probably both going to want to hop in the sack quickly. This isn’t always the case the older you get. In fact, once you’re in the mid-30’s, you tend to realize that banging her as soon as you can isn’t necessarily going to cement your relationship. How soon you decide to hop in the sack with each other will very much depend on your maturity levels as well as where you are in life. As well, when you’re older you’ll realize just how much sex can complicate things as opposed to when you’re younger and getting off is basically all you think about. Because of this, a relationship between two older people will probably progress to the sexual stage more slowly than it would between two younger people.

Values Matter

"Respect her values and she will be impressed"

“Respect her values and she will be impressed”


Maybe you’re alright with getting naked and naughty as soon as possible, but your partner might not be. It might seem like she’s stuck on being celibate until marriage, but the real truth could be that she’s not sure if she’s willing to commit to that kind of intimacy just yet. As much as that sucks for you, it’s something you absolutely need to respect. And if you feel that sex is such a huge part of relationships for you that you’re not willing to wait for her to make up your mind, it’s on you to let her know and then move forward to find women who share your state of mind regarding sex.

Intimacy is a Serious Commitment

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While not everyone feels this way, for some people taking the step toward having sex is a huge move forward in commitment. For that reason, women who have this outlook may be more hesitant to just fall into bed with you the moment you mention you’re horny. This is also a warning sign, because women who view sex as a commitment are probably looking for a committed relationship as well. Unless that’s what you’re onboard for, you might want to reconsider dating her in order to avoid disappointing her and creating a huge mess.

Family Has Impact

If either one you has children, this can impact your decisions regarding how soon you want to get sexually involved with each other. Adding sex to a relationship adds further complication, and if you’re a full-time father or mother, that’s a complication that you may or may not want to deal with now at this point in your life. You need weight the pros and cons before you decide to jump in the sack in order to make sure things don’t get too hectic between your family and your dating situation.

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